...is really easy to do. I mean, I have to admit I've been judgmental before, only on my mind though, I wasn't vocal about my judgments on other people. I keep it to myself. But that doesn't justify casting judgments on others, and I knew it then that's why I try my best to avoid judging others. But I guess I can't get away from it...

I was in my grand uncle's (he was my grandmother's brother) wake yesterday. He died at the age of 83, it was a peaceful death, he was even smiling in his coffin. My relatives love him s much, he was such a happy and accepting person. He has long accepted that death is coming and that he's lived a good life. People around him have these thoughts too. Everybody were smiling, at peace, happy that he's at peace now and has left this cruel world with a smile. I never saw anyone crying yesterday.... well, except for me...

I was crying. Yes, I am grieving for my grand uncle's death but it wasn't really the reason for my tears. I was around my aunts yesterday. Oh everybody knows I like discussing family issues with the matured people in the family. My aunts like (well, I guess they do) sharing their problems with me as if my opinion counts. We were having a good discussion until my Mom's eldest sister turned the table towards me. She started talking about me and my life.

 Unlike my other aunts, this one is very strict and straightforward. I mean, my other aunts are different, they're like my Mom whom I can talk about anything with, women who are fond of me and understands me and what I'm going through. Women whom I can share secrets with and talk and laugh about anything. Not this one though. She's just that. Different.

She started talking in a stern voice asking me about the humor that's spreading that I got married again. I mean, she lives in another city but I'm kinda "popular" in the church because I have been very active before, plus the fact that I used sing solo on weddings. Well, I guess people have seen me around, maybe saw my facebook account or read my blogs or saw my online profiles. I'm not hiding my wonderful man, I'm not keeping him a secret. I'm proud of my Mark. And my aunt isn't happy about that.

She said I'm immoral, that I'm still married and what I'm doing is against the church' teachings. She doesn't know I got annulled already, so I'm legally free to remarry. But well, I don't wanna tell her anyways, because she'll have another bunch of things to throw in my face about me destroying the bond that God created for me and the ex-hubby.

What the %$#@#@! Bond? What was she talking about? What bond? That man hurt me, hit me, made me like an animal afraid in my own house. That man almost killed me physically, that man murdered me emotionally and spiritually. That man killed my dreams for a happy family. That man killed me. And now that I'm free from him, I'm immoral because I choose to be happy again? Because I chose not to rot to death? Because I choose not to die alone and lonely? If that's immorality, then call me immoral!

I know what the bible says. There was a time in my life when anybody can ask me anything about the bible and I have a ready answer. I am a believer, I am a follower of the scriptures. I know it was wrong to get an annullment but I don't see how staying alone and lonely makes it right. She said I should stay alone. She said God allows me to separate from my ex-hubby physically but it doesn't mean I could go and find another man again. Well, she can think all she wants to think about me but I'm not throwing away the opportunity to be happy. I believe Mark is God's gift to me just like Nicholas is. I've been through a lot of difficulties when I had Nicholas but he's a blessing and he's all worth it. Mark is and he will always be a blessing and worthy of all the hardships and judgments too.

I know we all have different views, different opinions. I will listen to yours, and wouldn't mind if you listen to mine or not. But it doesn't matter. This is my life, God gave me this life. He knows what's best for me. He led me to Mark, He gave him to me, this is between me and my God. I know He wants me to be happy, and that He loves me so much. I still believe I deserve some happiness and that I found Mark for that.

So go ahead judge me if that makes you happy. I am happy and I'll be happier with Mark, Nicholas and I together one day... That's all that matters to me..

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