Suffering is an Option, Happiness is a Choice
POSTED AT 10:49 PM in My Life and what's left of it..., Big screen ravings

 

 

 

... that's the line that is so stuck in my mind I can't just shake it away.

You guessed it right. I just came home from the movie theater. My bestfriend Floricel said she wants to cry while watching "And I Love You So" and so she asked me to accompany her to the theater. She's lucky that it's my angel's bedtime, hahaha! I just have to give in to her, she's so keen in shedding her tears on that particular movie. Hmmm, maybe she really wants to cry in public and the movie is a good excuse. Oh well, as long as I'm not paying.. hahaha!

Yes, the movie is quite a tear-jerker and funny as well. I say "quite" because I didn't really shed a single tear. I don't know, maybe I can't relate to the movie since I'm not a widow (though I wanna be one so badly, hahaha! Huh! Does it sound like I'm joking?), or maybe because I'm not really a Bea-Sam fan (I love Anne and John Lloyd though), or maybe I got so fed up with crying I rather not do it just because the actress is crying, or maybe my friend is right -- I've become hard-hearted overtime.

Anyway, I know Bea's lines are full of emotions and yes, it can indeed make people cry, but I was more "affected" with Sam's lines, especially the one that I put as a title of this post. I realized it's so true. I mean, I always find an excuse to be lonely. Yes, I know I am living a miserable life -- having been forced into a marriage with a man who hits you and then you found out later that he's gay after all, and then fall inlove with a man who cannot marry you because you can't get an annulment, and then get pregnant and abandoned by another man, and then find myself drowning in endless financial issues, and then get your heart broken again... I mean, I am living a pathetic life I am quite aware of that, but I can always turn a blind eye on them and choose to be happy. Why suffer? What happened already happened. Just as Bea can't bring back the dead, I can't bring back the past, so why still bury myself in miseries and sufferings?

Well, I say, I choose to end my sufferings and I choose to be happy. I have my options -- I want to bring back the sunny disposition that I used to have. I owe it to myself....

Listening to: And I Love You So
Feeling: awake

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