I'm Happy...
POSTED AT 10:08 PM in My Life and what's left of it...

...and I hope to stay this way...

I admit I'm a hopeless romantic and I guess I always will. I can even be impulsive at times when it comes to this emotion called love even if there's a possibility of pain in the future... The truth is, I'm at it again, I'm falling into a web of hopeless romance once again and I'm letting myself into it.

Others will tell me I'm stupid.

So I am. Let me stay stupid for the rest of my life if it means I can be happy like this. I may be inviting pain to come into my life once again but well, I'm ready to face it, again, and again, and again... Until someone comes and vows never to hurt me.

Love is giving someone an opportunity to hurt you, but trusting he won't...

Listening to: Don't Fall In Love With a Dreamer
Feeling: contemplative

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Can't you be happy for me?
POSTED AT 08:58 AM in My Life and what's left of it...

That seems to be a very difficult question... for someone who's definition of happiness is "Me", "Myself" and "I".

There are people out there who are lucky enough to find happiness in life and in love. I'm happy for them. I have friends (I see them as my dear friends nonetheless) who found contentment in their lives. I'm happy for them. There are those who were able to reach their dreams -- marry the man they want to spend their lives with, bear children to rear and love, work their way to their dream careers... I'm happy for them. There are those who are blessed in some department but still feel they lack something in their lives. I feel for them...

But there are people out there who seems to find triumph, who feels elated, who are happy, when they see someone struggling with his life. The same people find themselves irritated and even "stepped on" when that someone finds joy in his life. Can't these people just be happy "at least" for others?

Yes, I'm sad. I'm thankful for all the good things that has been happening in my life. But still, it's saddening to see that someone I love dearly doesn't want to celebrate my triumphs with me. Instead, she brings out all the clouds to darken the happiness that I have right now. She finds it difficult to feel happy for me. That's really sad. Poor girl, trapped in the world of fake contentment and adequacy... wanting something she can't have... something that I have.

Why can't we just be happy with what we have right now? Why do we ache still to hurt other people just because they are happy with what they have despite all the struggles in their lives?

Listening to: That's What Friends Are For
Feeling: sad

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