Yesterday, I spent my day looking for a new house to relocate which turned out rather frustrating because I found none that suits my criteria. I was home by 4:00 in the afternoon and it was really hot in my room (one of the many reasons why I wanna relocate). I decided to sit at the veranda and listen to music while watching people walking to and from. I got sentimental again looking at their happy faces (I was facing the Park) so I focused on the music on my earphone. Then Lara Fabian's voice came without warning...

Tell me her name I want to know
The way she looks and where you go
I need to see her face, I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end...

I had to close my eyes to block the sight of the happy couples walking hand in hand just about 30 meters from me. I may have succeeded in doing so but the song has already penetrated my soul. As much as I hated to be sentimental nowadays, I found myself thinking about my only love again.

Tell me again I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with at night when I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

I was trying to convince myself that I'm over him. But I cannot fool myself. I wanted to let him go. Didn't I let him go already? Didn't I tell myself there's no future for us? That I should let him find happiness in someone else's arms? Didn't he tell me he's happy with that Polish woman? Someone who's the exact opposite of me... But I have been loving him for years. We shared this vow, which we thought was unbreakable.

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the chance, that one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time?

Then everything just went astray, just like that, and my life was shattered once again. He's happy somehow, somewhere, while I'm alone... Will I came to the same happiness someday too? Will I be able to gather the bits and pieces of my broken faith and reassemble them? Will I feel like a brand new individual then?

I'll let you go
I'll let fly
Why do I keep on asking why?
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

I have to let him go, I have to stop asking questions that can never be answered, I have to accept that this is just another one of those broken vows and there will be more to come...

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