MAY'S JOURNAL
Entries for September, 2008
September 1st, 2008
Blood Is Thicker Than Water? POSTED AT 12:47 PM in My Life and what's left of it... It shouldn't be a question mark, I know. The statement has been proven overtime. In fact, aside from just reading of its certainty on books, I saw it demonstrated before my very own eyes as well. Yes! That's in real life! But well, I'm having second thoughts lately.... Let's have hypothetical situations first shall we? Ok, this is one of those tricky questions, you've probably heard about it before. Let's say you're a wife and a mother, and you, your hubby and your daughter are out there on the cliffs. You're a bunch of adventrous people and you just love mountain climbing. Let's say a tragedy happened and you found yourself hanging there on a rope, with your daughter hanging on to a rope tied on your left leg while your hubby is hanging on to the rope tied on your right leg. Well, you have to let go of one or all of you will fall because the rope that's holding you (and obviously holding your family as well) is about to let loose, you need to free up weight, that means, letting go of one member of the family. Well, it so happens you need to reach a decision, real quickly... who will you cut off? I guess that's kinda hard, let's make things a little easier, I don't want to put you on a spot. Let's change the scenario but let's stay on that you being a wife and a mother. Ok, here goes. Your hubby and daughter are quarelling. You know your daughter did something that will bring shame to the family and your hubby was so disgusted he wants to cut off your daughter from this so-called family. But you are having doubts about doing that as well since you know (everybody in the family knows) that your husband made a decision long ago which actually ruined your daughter's life and the reason why she's been into doing acts that she shouldn't have done. But well, that's a lame excuse. Your daughter should be punished still for her wrong doings. Will you go let your hubby turn the whole family's back from your daughter or would you defend her (again) and make sure she won't do another crazy thing again? Now that second scene is definitely easier, right? I guess a woman will turn her back from being a mother then and embrace her wifey obligations (which is to respect the husband's decision). Besides, her daughter has been causing her heartache lately, it's easier for everybody (excluding the daughter) to just cut-off the ties. Well... When I become a mother (soon, I'll be) and I'll be in this situation, I'll definitely won't abandon my child! She's my blood, she came from me, I'm her mother for God's sake! A mother cannot turn her back from her child, right? WRONG! I just found out, rather painfully, that Water is thicker than Blood. It seems the blood that flows in my veins is as dense as water, it isn't really thick as blood, or maybe that I don't really have my parents' blood at all. Yep, last night's events confirmed it all and I'll never ever forget the 31st of August 2008. Never. That was the day I realized that the most important woman in my life will choose water over blood... Reading: Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler Listening to: Perfect by Simple Plan Watching: My family spirit dying... Feeling: nothing 3 comments now. Add yours.
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September 2nd, 2008
Take Me Out of the Dark... POSTED AT 02:30 PM in My Life and what's left of it... The other night, after realizing some facts that have been challenging me for the past few months now, I came to accept defeat. I felt defeated and deflated. Again, I wrote another entry to my Failures List notebook. I can see the list is growing and my Achievements List is lagging so far behind, it's not even half of the other list, but well, I told myself, that's how things are. I did try my best, it wasn't good enough though. The other night, I felt myself in the dark again. It isn't because I turned off the lights in my room as early as 6:00 PM, it's because I can sense darkness looming in my life again. I knew this feeling, this has been my constant visitor ever since I came across the fact that I can never be someone they wanted me to be. This has been both my friend and enemy, this darkness which covers my heart and my soul, affecting the way my brain processes eveything that comes my way, even affecting my sight. The other night, my friend and my enemy, the darkness, visited me again. It was my constant companion, so I thought it should be considered as a friend, it was always there for me and I realized I welcome it with open arms since it has been there everytime something's amiss. However, it was my enemy as well, because it allowed me to stumble and fall. Why wouldn't I? I was without light, only darkness envelopes my life and so I came falling and falling into the pit of nowhere... The other night, I started revolting against my friend's best enemy. My friend, the darkness, has been whispering these things to me. It tells me vague phrases such as "He has left you.." or "Can't you see He's forsaken you again?" or "Turn your back on Him as He's done on you..." I thought I'm going crazy. With hands trembling, I reached out for my Little Nicholas' first book, you know, the one I told you about, the one which will teach my little angel how good He is, He, my friend's best enemy... I was about to throw it on the floor, then I felt something kicked me on my belly... Can you imagine that? My Little Nicholas knows I'm about to do something against his very own possession and he wants me to go back to my senses and put the book back to where it belong. I felt so ashamed. My friend, the darkness, whispered something on my ears once more, it says "What? You are letting that little bastard stop you from doing what should be done? That brat who ruined your life? That thing you call your little angel who was given to you by your so-called Father but then threatens to rob you of your so-called salvation? That good-for-nothing brat! What has it done to you? Made your family turn your back in you? Is that it? And you're letting it do that to you again! Fight it! It's easy, it's inside you, you may even put a stop at its existence if you want to! C'mon! Kill it!" Something snapped on me when I heard the word "kill". I killed someone once, didn't I? Look what happened to my life. Must I do that again? Will it make everything alright again? Would it make them love me again? Would it make them welcome me back in their lives again? Will it satisfy them then? To see me kill it? I asked my friend, are you talking about my Little Nicholas? My friend said "Who else? Isn't that little thing the reason why you're depressed right now? Why everybody left you?" I can feel my friend smiling so cunningly when it said "Hah! Isn't that brat the reason too why you are not welcome in your church anymore? The reason why your so-called God closed His eyes on you? Turned a deaf ear on your pleas?" I started to believe it, it's words are like music to my ears. Then I felt myself floating into nothingness. I felt myself going numb. I think my friend is trying to sing me a lullaby, it wants me to sleep and fall deeper and deeper into nothingness..... I woke up with a splitting headache again. What happened? I asked myself... Then my friend loomed over me again, it descended upon me like it's so happy to finally find a home to settle in. I let it anyways. I said, who cares? Let it stay inside. At least I have someone to talk to, someone who'll let me cast the blame to others, someone who'll make me feel clean and indignant. I made it through the whole day yesterday I guess. I treated it but another normal day, but of course something's different, my friend, the darkness is accompanying me wherever I go. This time, I'm not alone. Then last night, as I lay down on my bed, getting ready for another session with my friend, my eyes caught the picture frame hanging on the wall. I never even thought of anything, except that I'm seeing images, happy faces, but my eyes watered again. My friend started to talk "Yes, look at them, they're lost to you now". With a calm voice I asked him "You talk like I should be happy about it, do you think this is fun?" It said "Of course it is fun! Isn't it fun to be free of them at last?" I thought about Little Nicholas then, do I want him to be happy to have me out of his life? Oh no! The mere thought of it is killing me, like a knife plunging into my heart. No.... This is no fun. I can feel Little Nicholas jumping in my belly. Oh that's so sweet, I thought. He's happy now, knowing that I'm beginning to fight with my friend. My friend got mad at me. I can feel it. It's not happy with the way my brain is running at that very moment, especially when a song popped into my mind like a light bulb... Just what is it in me? Sometimes I just don't know what keeps me in your love. Why you never let me go. And though you're in me now. I fall and hurt you still. My Lord please show me how to know just how you feel. You have forgiven me too many times it seems. I feel I'm not what you might call a worthy Christian after all. And though I love you so temptations finds it's way to me... Yes, my friend is but a temptation.. I shouldn't let it win over me again. Teach me to trust in You with all of my heart. To lean not on my own understanding coz' I just forget You won't give me what we can't bear. Take me out of the dark My Lord I don't want to be there... I don't want to stay in this darkness right? Or do I? But it has given me such freedom.. it has given me reasons the way not anybody else has given me. God? What about God? Oh, that He has given me reasons as well? But what reasons has He given me for this life? What's the reason for this useless life? You never left my side. You gave Your hand to me to hold You,oh Jesus. I'm no longer in the cold. And yet I leave You there when I feel satisfied. I'd like to thank You everyday not only when I feel that way. I've never known a man who'd give His life for sinners like me. And yet because He loves us so. He promised us eternity. And we can have His promise and be His if have faith and just believe.. Believe? That's it? It's that simple? But I never stopped believing didn't I? Now tell me where this belief led me! Then something, or maybe someone, whispered to me... "Act on your belief..." Oh! But I acted on that belief... Well, didn't I? Didn't I? I can hear myself almost shouting "Didn't I do everything that my faith compelled me to do? Didn't I?" Then I felt like a baby, crying out loud. I realized I've embraced myself, cuddled my own body knowing nobody else will do it for me now. Oh! How I long for someone's embrace, for someone to hold me and promise me everything will be alright. Where are You? Why aren't You taking me out of this nothingness? Oh please I implore You... I beg You... Please... Take me out of the dark.... Listening to: Take Me Out of the Dark by Gary Valenciano Feeling: dark |
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September 3rd, 2008
Something's wrong with my patience. POSTED AT 09:29 AM in My Life and what's left of it... Yes, something's really wrong here. I get so irritated, and really agitated with some of the bloggers posting for my program at blogtoprofit.com. If you never read about my post on my new job as a Social Media Processor, let me inform you then that I took up this new job about evaluating Social Media (blogs) everyday. Yup, I get to read blog posts everyday and evaluate them if they pass our criteria and decide on what "grade" to give them as our basis if they get to be assigned links next time or not. It may sound easy, and I thought it was, but it isn't. I mean, you know how much I love to read and blog-hopping is actually good since it can also enhance one's knowledge. But gosh! I can't believe I'll be dealing with super dull people! Forgive me for that, I don't mean to undermine other people's capacity. I mean, they've got their own blogs for God's sake! They were posting there everyday! Not everybody knows how to blog, but they're good at it! So I can't really understand why they can't follow simple instructions! These are grown-ups for pete's sake! Yes, I'm really pissed! I am patient with these kind of people you know. I used to be a College Instructor and it wasn't easy to deal with extremes everyday. Yes, I dealt with extreme students; at the other side, too bright students then at the other, oh well, not so gifted ones. But I was patient with them. I learned to go down their levels just to reach out to them and help them with their education. I was strict, I know that, but I am proud to say that my students saw me as a disciplinarian and a good teacher. But now! What about now?! I'm getting really agitated! How would you feel if you get to start your day with copied posts? I mean, we have that in our rules! How can they not understand simple rules such as these: 1. You will be assigned a batch of links by a BToP administrator based on the categories that you agreed upon sign-up. You may change the preferred categories at any time before a batch of task is given. 2. Once a batch of order has been assigned to your blog, you have up to 120 hrs to complete and submit the post before it will be re-assigned to another blogger. 3. You should accurately post a link and its anchor text verbatim within your blog post, at one link per post only. 4. The link should be in context, found in the main body of a relevant blog post. 5. Content must be creative and original. You should not copy more than one sentence from any portion of text from the advertiser’s website, doing so may get you banned from BTOP. 6. There is a minimum requirement of 150 words for blog entry approval. 7. Your blog post must appear either as one of the recent blog entries on your home page, or be a clear link accessible from your blog. Posts may be rejected if they can not be easily found from your blog. 8. Your blog post must remain live for at least 12 months and be accessible through the submtted permanent link at anytime within the agreed period. Bloggers who remove posts after being paid and before the term mentioned above ends will no longer receive sponsorship opportunities and may be banned from BToP. 9. Anchor texts with backlinks to advertiser must not contain “no follow” tags. 10. Posts from BTOP should not be posted into one category like “sponsored”, “paid posts”, “ads”, “advertisements”, “earn from blog” and other similar categories. And what really pissed me more is the fact that I get to email the same blogger three times for committing the same error! My God! Once is enough for a wise man. Ok, he/she may not be that wise, so a second email must be enough right? But to the height! I don't know what's wrong with their brains! They're not doing that for free, they're getting paid, they need not to make everything perrfect but gosh! Can't they follow instructions? I'm sure they can read! Ok, it might not be them, maybe it's ok to be a pea-brain sometimes, maybe it's me, there really is something wrong with my patience... Listening to: Realize by Colbie Caillat Feeling: pissed |
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September 3rd, 2008
Jeffrey Archer's First Among Equals POSTED AT 04:21 PM in Reading for substance
Having served in the British House of Commons himself, Jeffrey Archer drew out several true-to-life situations to make the novel more exciting and realistic. Real British politicians however were included in the novel to interact with the fictional ones; this includes Winston Churchill, Harold Wilson, Alec Douglas-Home, Margaret Thatcher, Edward Heath and even Queen Elizabeth II. Star-studded, huh? Hmmm, before we dissect this book, let's take a look at that book cover first, shall we? See those fine looking gentleman at the right? -------------------------------------------------------> Ok, here's my best guess, the first one from the left must be Charles Seymour, I think he's the most "distinguished" looking among the four (not the handsomest though, hehehe), so I guess he's an Earl's son. Then next is Raymond Gould, also known as Mr. carrot-top with the spectacle (I guess you know by now why it's so easy to pick him up among the four). The next one must be Simon Kerslake, with his mop of brown hair (ey! Archer did say "mop" and look at that hair, LOL!). And of course, the last but definitely not the least, the fine gentleman and oh-so-good-looking Scottish Andrew Fraser (doesn't he look delicious? Hahaha!) Alright, let's stop fooling around and get down to serious business here. Charles, as the second born son will never inherit his father's title, however, being the obvious heir of his mother's strength and will, he's but a "titled" man himself. Ray was born in an impoverished family but was raised and grew up with pride, intellect and conviction; all the qualities he needed to become someone others would thought impossible to achieve. Simon has been a dreamer like his father; both father and son sacrificed so much for the latter's dreams to come true. Andrew grew up seeing, hearing, living and breathing politics. Why not? His father is a soccer hero turned politician. It's up to Andrew to carry on to his father's political and heroic fame. These strangers met at the onset of their political careers, sometimes they are friends, most of the times they are rivals as they embark on a journey to that ultimate destination -- that comfortable zone in No. 10 Downing Street. It will take these men over three decades to complete this journey and during those years, their honor will be put to unexpected tests, their faith and loyalty will be betrayed, their patriotism will be challenged, and their families will be put on the spot. These men may be equals; yet, in a game where a winner must emerge, where only one can be a victor, where only one can triumph, there will be a First among Equals. I admit I had a little "difficulty" in reading the book. I mean, I don't have much knowledge on how the British government goes, some terminologies sound vague to me at first. But then, Jeffrey Archer have been very helpful and thus, it wasn't impossible at all to get a hang of it. One thing is for sure though, the fact that Politics is a Dirty Business is indeed a universal issue. Oh boy! I really enjoyed reading the book, I even had my personal favorite and I was definitely crushed when he didn't become the Prime Minister. I wasn't able to sleep that night (honest!). I just can't accept at first that Jeffrey Archer would choose that man, I just hate him! (Though not as much as I hate the other "gentleman", I loathed him) But then I realized, of course, my choice couldn't be the PM, though he's a just and honest and fair man, he lacks some "cunning" devices that the others do have. Oh well, it's politics and of course Archer knows more than me. Oh no, I will never reveal the results here, I'm not about to ruin your excitement! It was however interesting to know that the British and American editions of the book ended in a different ways; meaning, different characters became Prime Minister. Oh, Jeffrey Archer did explain his motives. According to him, these two countries will definitely be cheering different characters. Hmmm... I wonder who became the Prime Minister on the American Edition. I'm sure I read the British Edition. I was a little upset too that Archer has to remove the Scottish part of Andrew in the American edition, does this mean, there's no "Andrew" in that edition? That's so sad! Or maybe Andrew is there but he's definitely not Scottish? I wonder why then... Ain't this story intriguing and empowering? I just love Jeffrey Archer! So, what are you waiting for? Get your copy now from your nearest local bookstores, or better yet, purchase online at Amazon Books now! |
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September 4th, 2008
The "I" in my Personality Test result POSTED AT 02:13 PM in My Life and what's left of it... An ex co-worker of mine "forced" me (hehehe) to take this test this morning. Oh well, he gave me the link and told me he wanted to know if our personalities are compatible, LOL! Ain't he sweet? Well, he's a sweet young man alright but I know what lurks behind that scheming brain as well, he isn't a "Strategist" for nothing! Anyways, thanks "guapo" for sending the link (aghhh!), I like the result. I actually remembered taking the same test 3 years from now and I think nothing has changed, I'm still the Introverted-Sensing-Thinking-Judging me... Hmmm... I guess you're quite confused now, I'm actually talking about my Personality Type Result @ www.mypersonality.info. So here's my result:
Being a band's vocalist, a constant host of several programs and events, a used-to-be College Instructor who entertained her students, it seems impossible that I'm anti-social right? I'm not anti-social I guess. It seems I don't mind being with the crowd. I don't mind seeing myself in parties or any crowded activity, but I realize, though I don't necessarily hate crowdy events, I'd rather be alone in my room, curled on my bed, reading a book or writing silly stories and poems. I remember the times when I dine alone, watch movies alone or go shopping alone... Yeah, I was alone, but not really lonely. I like doing things alone. It seems for me, things are easier to accomplish alone, not that I minded the inputs of others. I'm grateful as well as in need of other's knowledge as well, they're very welcome. it's just that I tend to get faster results when I work alone. I like doing things alone as well, makes me enjoy those activities with myself, like watching movies for example. I appreciate the company, but I like going to the cinemas by myself better. Also, I always avoid being a burden to other people. I've never been a clingy person. I find it hard to "entertain" others or make sure they're ok and comfortable with the things I want to do. So I guess I'm really introverted eh? Listening to: On My Own from Les Miserables Feeling: calm |
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September 6th, 2008
It's been six days... POSTED AT 11:26 AM in My Life and what's left of it... ...and counting still. I may have to count weeks or even months, but I hope I won't be counting years. I just can't bear the thought. I know I've been brave to accept my defeat and even told myself I can do it, I can live with it. But lately, I'm having disturbing thoughts. I know, this is the consequence of wanting to have a child of my own, ad I know I deserve this consequence, but isn't there any way to make things a little less painful? The silence is just so defeaning. I don't think I'll last another week of this. I long to hear my Mama's voice, yet, I know it isn't up to me this time, it's up to her. She calls the shots, it's her turn. Still, I'm hoping that Washington Irving's word will prove true in my life: A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all. Mama's love for me was so great I am certain I have worked hard to justify it, but I still find myself looking for that elusive key, for me to become someone she wants me to be... Mama's love for me was patient and forgiving, though others have been vile and forsaking. Even if her heart ws breaking, she still found it in her hard to embrace me, flaws and all... and what have I done? I miss Mama... She has been God's way of giving me strength. Her wisdom flows in my vein, her affection has been the food for my soul. Now I'm weakening, I feel so weary, I want my Mama... It's been six days... Reading: Black Blade by Eric Van Lustbader Listening to: Reflection by Lea Salonga Feeling: calm |
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September 6th, 2008
Eric Van Lustbader's Black Blade POSTED AT 12:53 PM in Reading for substance
Black Blade was published in 1992. It was actually another fast-paced plot that will take readers to "forbidden" places where a chain of brutal yet seemingly innocent murders take place, where a political scheme is being conceived to paralyze the economic colossus of Japan, where a power war is almost at its final stage. The novel may just be another stint on how dirty politcs can be, but then, it could be more... To be honest, I was never a fan of Lustbader. He's a great writer, no doubt about that but my heart's just set to the almost-realistic novels of Jeffrey Archer (so I'm loyal, hehehe). But I won't deny the fact however that I'm impressed with Lustbader's writing prowess. My friend Mandy introduced him to me I guess less than 2 years ago. She was so fascinated with Lustbader's Angel Eyes and since Mandy's a reliable critic, I read the book as well. I learned so much about the Japanese ways and I was actually laughing out loud when one of the characters (was it the Japanese? I guess it was the Russian) asked about a pineapple tree. A pineapple tree! Shucks! If I see one, I'll definitely report it to Guiness! Anyways, Eric Van Lustbader (who dropped his middle name "Van" years ago to avoid further confusion) has authored and published more than 25 best-selling novels, this includes The Ninja, which was sold to and to be made a major motion picture by 20th Century Fox (Hmmm, I wonder if this has be shown already, I haven't heard of such movie yet). Lustbader must be a very good writer for why would the estate of the late Robert Ludlum (The Robert Ludlum!) choose him to continue the Bourne novels? He already published The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal. Sigh.. this would mean Matt Damon (I love this guy!) will be back to portray Jason Bourne will be back on the big screen. Yipppeee! Let's go back to Lustbader's Black Blade shall we? It was another of Eric's novel bearing his signature: Where Thrillers and Fantasy Meet. Lustbader can certainly show the fantasy side of the story without forcing the readers to forget the real world. Thus, I'm really impressed! Black Blade talks about this darkness on noontime, a power that can be summoned by special people like Wolf, Chika and other members of the Japanese Black Blade society. The novel is again set on human's greed to gain complete world dominion theough their evil powers. Hmmm... thrillers and fantasy, no doubt about that! Read the book, you'll never bored, even if you dislike fantasy and all writings about the far side of the world, you might just like the realistic side of it... Reading: Eric Van Lustbader's Life @ http://www.ericvanlustbader.com Listening to: Circle of Life from The Lion King Feeling: impressed |
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September 8th, 2008
The Glass Is Half-Full... POSTED AT 03:36 PM in My Life and what's left of it..., My Little Nicholas Yes, this time, it isn't half-empty. I had been living with these negative thoughts all my life. I used to be full of electrons, I was always negatively charged... But for Little Nicholas' sake, I've taught myself to bring in the protons... It's funny that I have to wait for a tiny creature to change my way of thinking. It's sad though that I never learned to do it for myself. The fact that I waited for someone to arrive before I finally come into doing it means I never did love myself that much... But oh well, I'm trying, ain't I? Yesterday, I found out about my friends' plans for me and for my Little Nicholas. You see, I have been wallowing in self-pity lately, thinking I would have to learn a midwife's job since I was certain I cannot let myself experience the humiliation of not having enough money to pay the hospital. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. And to think I was conditioning my brain, I was preparing myself since I was very sure that is what will happen on December. Then He reminded me that the glass is half-full. Yes, some important people may not be there for me (they became the glass' half-empty part), but there are other great people who are willing to be there for me, who are willing to let me realize that the glass is half-full indeed. They are my friends, and they'll always be my friend even with the distance between us. Let me take this opportunity to thank two very kind and generous people, my sweet friends, two great women who has shown me compassion, who understood all my shortcomings, who are always there for me, selflessly giving even if they have their own families and loveones to think of as well... Mandy and Mhaie... Little Nicholas will jump with glee to have you as his gorgeous and loving titas... I may never repay you though I wanted so much, but you are in my prayers every night. May God bless your pure hearts for eternity. May He give you your hearts' desire. Yes, I'm positive, this time, the glass is half-full... Listening to: I'll Be by Edwin McCain Feeling: thankful |
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September 11th, 2008
Anne Tyler's Saint Maybe POSTED AT 01:41 PM in Reading for substance
I've been surfing the web about this novel and found out that it's quite popular (why wouldn't it be when it's selling like hotcakes for 9 weeks?) and had been reviewed hundred times over by critiques and readers alike. Yup, the novel is good. But I was actually expecting a richer plot, a more intriguing story, a much deeper interpretation of events that has happened on the lives of the story's characters. Ok, so I'm reading too much Jeffrey Archer and Barbara Taylor Bradford, I should give Anne Tyler a chance, she's a great author in her own ways, right? I am delighted to know however (well, my knowledge of this fact is rather late but better late than never!) that Saint Maybe is that good for Hallmark Channel to make a television series out of it. I'll tell you more about that series later, for now let me get you acquainted with Saint Maybe himself. Saint Maybe was actually Ian Bedloe, how he got that name? You'll know more once you get to the middle of the book. Ian was the youngest member of what everyone on Waverly Street sees as the perfect family. This seemingly perfect family is composed of rather sociable and good-natured parents, three attractive and quite popular children, a cat, a dog and various goldfish in an aquarium. Ian, though popular for his own athletic abilities, was considered an average sort of person compared to his very beautiful sister Caludia and his very handsome and athletic brother Danny. However, it doesn't seem to bother Ian at all, he's quite contented with his life especially that he's dating the most popular and the most beautiful girl in the campus by the age of 17. Problems however began to appear when Danny married a seemingly "unknown" woman Lucy who's actually divorced and a mother of two small children, Agatha and Thomas. Lucy came from nowhere, carrying no history or past with her, yes, an untraceable background indeed. This however didn't stop Danny from marrying her and starting a family with her. Words have been whispered within the family when just after seven months of marriage, baby Daphne was welcome in the world. Of course, Lucy says the baby's premature but one look at her, you can actually tell she isn't. Then Lucy started going out, leaving her children alone with a babysitter (who happens to be Ian most of the time). This led to Danny's death through an auto accident closely followed by Lucy's death through a sleeping pill overdose. And guess what? Ian felt responsible for both deaths. How and why? Again, you have got to get your own copy! LOL! This guilt led Ian to his religious journey, hoping that he'll be able to cleanse himself and be forgiven for the deaths. It will take Ian years to understand what God's plan for him really is, and yes, it took him years to gain the so-called title "Saint Maybe". In the end, the Bedloes may not be the seemingly perfect family they were before but well, nobody's perfect anyways. Anne Tyler's story is indeed filled with characters loved for their eccentricities. The plot and the lessons learned are so detailed and take a universal tone. The novel indeed illustrates the delivering power of love and commitment. To be honest, I wasn't really satisfied with how the story ended, I was thinking something's missing. I kept on telling myself it would have been better if Ian did this or Ian did that... Oh well, maybe that's the reason Anne Tyler was able to publish her story and I still can't. I think I'm not just cut out to be a writer huh!
Ok, on your left is a photo (courtesy of Hallmark Channel) of the TV series Saint Maybe's main characters. Bee Bedloe, the mother, was played by Blythe Danner (Meet the Parents) while Doug Bedloe, the father, was played by
Their three children, Claudia, the eldest, was played by Glynnis O’Connor (Summer of Fear), while Danny, the "Golden Boy" was played by Jeffrey Nordling (Journey to the Center Of the Earth) and Ian, the "saint" was played by Thomas McCarthy (Mary & Tim).
I never saw a single episode of this series but I guess it's good enough to enjoy with a tumbler of popcorn and a can of soda eh?
Listening to: Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan Feeling: thoughtful |
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September 11th, 2008
Debbie Macomber's The Shop On Blossom Street POSTED AT 02:28 PM in Reading for substance This novel is actually Debbie MaComber's first on her four Blossom Street Series Books, the second was A Good Yarn, followed by Back On Blossom Street and then the latest was Twenty Wishes.
When I finished the book, I actually felt good. Who wouldn't be? Debbie just weaved a good story of love, life, death and acceptance. Even if there are pages which I can say, really worth my tears, I seem to feel released and relieved. I guessed you know what I'm talking about, I'm sure even just for once in your life, you felt great about a movie, a story, or a book. Oh well, I felt just like that. So, what was really in the story that made me feel alive and more positive about life? Yarn! No, I'm not joking, it all started with a yarn! LOL! Well, actually it all started with a cancer, a deadly disease, but I'd rather focus on the positive side... Debbie MaComber in real life really knows how to knit you know, in fact, she loves that hobby. She even joked that with her yarn stash, she
could knit garments to clothe a third world country. Hmmm.. like Philippines maybe? I don't think she's being discriminating on that statement, I mean, there really exists third-world countries... Anyways, I didn't mind, as long as those yarns led her to write books of life and love that center around a yarn
store. Well, I don't really know how to knit (I'm fairly patient with my cross-stitching though) but it doesn't stop me from buying and reading the book. I even realized I wanted to knit while reading the book, it seems to be a purposely-driven hobby.... Oh well, let's focus on the story. The novel features A Good Yarn, a
fictional little yarn and knitting shop on Blossom Street in Seattle. This is also the setting for forming lasting
and friendships among totally different individuals. The shop is actually owned by Lydia Hoffman, representing her vision of a new life, free from cancer and the realization of death. A life that will offer her more than just survival but a chance at love. "The yarn forms the stitches, the knitting forges the friendships, the craft links the generations." - Karen Alfke, Lydia started the shop not just for monetary reasons but also for her passion in knitting. She also taught knitting to beginners, with a Baby Blanket as her first lesson. Three women joined her class for different reasons. Jacqueline, a rather snob and aristocratic wife and mother, will soon become a grandma. She wanted to learn to knit so she can knit something for her grandchild as an indication of reconciliation with her daughter-in-law. Carol, a childless yet career-oriented woman felt that the baby blanket class is a message of hope as she and her husband were on their third and final attempt to conceive. Alix, a happy-go-lucky woman, wanted to learn to knit a blanket for a court-ordered community service project. Four very distinctive women, with clashing beliefs and attitudes, brought together by an age-old
craft, are on their path to unexpected yet pleasant discoveries, not just about themselves, but also about each other, and about everybody and everything that surrounds them and affects their existence. Well, the story did combine two of my most favorite things these days: acceptance of life and baby stuff. So it's expected that I go gaga over it... Why not try reading yourself? You might discover you like knitting as well, or that you may want to renew your vision of love and romance, or just like me, you wanted to know more about babies and of course, you may need a good laugh and a good cry as well. The Shop On Blossom Street can give you all that. |
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September 11th, 2008
Jacqueline Briskin's Everything And More POSTED AT 03:02 PM in Reading for substance ... the fourth Jacqueline Briskin book that I own and read. Am I a JB fan? Maybe. She's a great writer, I must admit. Her books frequent the New York Times Bestseller's list and were translated into 26 languages. She must be that good huh!
So, after The Naked Heart, Dreams Are Not Enough, and The Other Side of Love, I stumbled upon another JB novel in my favorite bookshop. I was actually looking for Keith Ablow's Psycopath (to be honest), but then I cannot find that book, so I settled for anothes JB creation. Second choice maybe but I'm telling you, picking it up was worth it! After The Other Side of Love, a respect for JB sprout out from my cluttered brain (hehehe). Really, she's a good story-teller. Maybe not as good as my favorite Jeffrey Archer but hey! She's really fantastic. (Am I blabbing or what?) I like her factual accounts of the Nazi stories and all, I like her steamy hot characters, I like her wise puns and one-liners, I like her stories! Well, Everything and More is another thing that I like about JB. This novel presents in vivid details a story of illicit passion and erotic competition leading towards death and disaster. It's actually about three potent, passionate women, whose lives were weaved together in a web of intrigue, secrets and deceit. Their lives explode in a shocking act of murderous retribution when these secrets were exposed or rather threatened to be exposed. So let's dissect the characters. Marylin is just too good to be true; she's sensual, she's beautiful, she's popular, she's adored by millions, she's bound to be a superstar... But well, nothing in this world can be perfect and nobody can have everything, right? So Marliyn's life is empty, her lovelife is almost non-existent, but nobody can have the best of both worlds. Then there's Roy, the not so-sensual, not-so beautiful, not so-popular, overshadowed sister of Marilyn. Despite it all, she was able to overcome the cruelty of this world by conquering the world of international fashion. However, this success may be clouded for she seem to harbor fatal attraction for the wrong men. Then of course there's Althea, Roy's bestfriend. She's a poor little rich girl (quite an irony eh?) with a sickening past. She's talented aside from her gift of beauty and wealth, but her desires recognize no boundaries, no limits, she may have everything but she wanted more. I can't help taking sides while reading the story. I mean everybody may have their own share of pains, but I can't seem to like Althea at all. She's way too selfish for my taste. I admit I like her coolness but she tends to freeze, I can't stand her. Well, I like Roy, she's a very forgiving and loving person. I know, I see myself in her, falling for the wrong men all my life, but at least, just like her, I never ever purposely and selfishly hurt anybody. Well, what can I say about Marilyn? She's just way out of my league...
Listening to: The Scientist by Coldplay Feeling: drained |
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September 12th, 2008
When You Fall Short of Their Expectations... POSTED AT 01:49 PM in My Life and what's left of it... I'm sure it isn't just me. I guess, it's universal. We all live by other people's expectations, one time or another. And maybe, human beings as we are, we sometimes fail to live up to those expectations, try as we might... I remember a part of Keith Ablow's novel entitled Murder Suicide where John Snowe, the man who committed suicide or have been murdered (find out by reading the book) realized one very important key to understanding his life when he was diagnosed with a brain disease. Before that, he grew up living up to his parents' expectations. He's a genius, a mathematician, a scientist... his parents were proud of him. He gave them everything they wanted, but of course, it was expected of him, he's but their son, he should bring them pride and glory. He was doing fine then, until he started to have "freezing moments" whenever he's in the height of excitement, or trying to decipher the answer to the most difficult Calculus problem ever. Then he'll have seizures, he'll bite his tongue and even lose his compusure. The doctors advised him not to put too much strain on his intellectual capacity then. It was when his parents started to ignore him, started to treat him like he's nothing special. Gone were the days when they were proud parents of an intelligent son. John Snowe realized his parents didn't love him; they loved his brains and when something went wrong with it, they stopped loving the brain and thus he was abandoned as well... I didn't put too much thought on that part you see. I finished that book a month ago and I never really questioned my parents' love for me. I was positive my parents love me. Hey! I'm no genius, they couldn't have loved my brain, I was sure they love me as me. I was... After almost two weeks of not hearing from them though, my "faith" on that love started to crumble. My friend was right when she pointed out it's normal for them to be feeling that way, since they expected too much from me and I failed them. Yes, failures are enough to abandon your own child I guess. It seems normal. I'm hoping though that I wouln't be a normal parent so I wouln't have do that to my own son. How can a mother endure doing that to her own blood? How can she ever let a day go by without making sure her child is alright? But well, maybe given the circumstances, when that child failed the parent's expectations, it is but normal. Again, I wouldn't want to be a normal parent then. When you fall short of their expectations... is that enough reason to drop you like a hot potato? Is that enough reason to severe the ties, the bond that you thought were strong enough to help you cope up with life? Is that enough to abandon you when they "love" you so much? Maybe. I guess it is. But I was hoping it isn't... Reading: Book Review: Keith Ablow's Psychopath Listening to: Love Me For What I Am by Carpenters Feeling: depressed |
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September 15th, 2008
Genie in a bottle POSTED AT 03:42 PM in My Life and what's left of it..., Writing for sanity's sake Someone asked me a question, I think it needs adequate consideration, Ok, time to reveal what I fancy, I'm afraid the wait will shoo away the genie. Listening to: Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguillera Feeling: blah |
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September 15th, 2008
Achievements? What achievements? POSTED AT 04:10 PM in My Life and what's left of it... It seems I've been living on a great illusion all my life. All this time I have been lured by the belief that I have made great achievements in my life, all this time I have this thought that I’ve made other people happy and proud. I’ve been living a lie; I exist in make-believe, a fairy tale, nothing but a fiction…. Other people, I guess they don’t know me that much, have been awed by my so-called achievements. They would have been blinded as well when they told me I'm an achiever and that my folks would have been proud to have a daughter like me. "But May, you are your father's ace!" Sheesh! Now I wonder what could have led them to such sentiments, when it’s apparent I’m not someone they paint me to be. Those times, I treated all those "achievements" as something really common, something that happen everyday; and I never came to appreciate them. Oh yeah, maybe I felt proud about them, I maybe even got so overwhelmed with congratulations and the look of admiration from others. However, it wasn’t other people’s reaction I want to see, I've always been looking forward to my folks' praises and appreciation. I did everything for them you see. In my opinion, the best reward and recognition would be coming from my beloved parents. I was always thirsty for that pride, that loving look, that comforting hug, those elating words telling me, "that's my daughter!" As I said, I’m living a lie. A bombshell dropped yesterday and it made an explosive revelation; and with my broken belief goes my shattered life, bits and pieces, never to return again. I realized my folks deem me as a useless individual, someone who has never done something good; something they can be proud of. I felt so stupid, I felt like a beggar, with my heart breaking, I implored him to tell me that I’ve at least achieved something that gave them pride. I asked for a morsel of appreciation, I got none. I was told over and over that I am a worthless, insignificant creature. I’m but a rubbish and all I’ve done were meaningless and of no value. No value! I worked so hard for each so-called achievement! I gave more than just what I can afford to give! Only to find out that they’re but useless? Oh how heartless! How cunning! How fastidious! How demanding! How …. painful… yes, how painful… They say reality bites, I guess they’re right. I guess I’ve done nothing worthy of my folks’ pride. Ey! I already accepted that fact, I came in full terms with reality. I’ve more than enough drama, too much tears have been shed. It’s time to act on the truth. Listening to: I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston Feeling: nothing |
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September 16th, 2008
My Edginess... POSTED AT 03:50 PM in My Life and what's left of it... ... made me lose a good friend.
Take With the ending of the friendship comes the ending of our professional ties. Yes, we have this sort of “employer-employee” relationship and it never ended even with the distance that separated us. He used to give me assignments, fueled my enthusiasm for research and writing. He’s made me his favorite resource, giving me all the highly-paid articles since he believed in my potentials and it was his way of helping me financially. We had so many arguments in the past. Mostly about the assignments wherein the client will suddenly change their criteria and will make me rewrite the articles. We’ll have heated discussions that always end the same – me “winning” and he giving in to my wishes. I think I was just so used to him giving me all I wanted that I seem to overlook his feelings. Of course I’ve hurt him several times. He swallowed his pride so many times just to retain the professional relationship and of course the friendship. But then I guess I pushed him to the edge. The last argument proved it. He’d grown so tired of my immature and unprofessional attitude. Maybe because of the reason that if I was difficult before, I was more difficult than ever for the past few months. He knows of my condition, that was why he kept on sending me assignments still to help me with money matters, but I shooed him away with my bitchy reasoning. I was an ingrate. I felt so bad, I felt so low. Again, I lost someone who seemed to care… all because of my exasperating way of thinking. Oh! Will I ever learn? Listening to: You've Got a Friend by James Taylor Feeling: gloomy |
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September 17th, 2008
Listen POSTED AT 11:16 AM in My Life and what's left of it..., That's what you call Music Though Beyoncé co-wrote this song, which was her signature number in Dreamgirls, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences gave her a loud enough NO when they decided not to recognize her as a one of the primary songwriters of Listen. I read it has everything to do with the award-giving body's rules,
confidential committees and hmmm, maybe just another case of bad luck for the alluring Beyoncé. I have to admit though that of all the songs in the Dreamgirls track, I saw myself strongly identifying with this particular song. Maybe because Beyoncé was so full of power and emotions while she sang it. Or maybe because the melody just captured my heart. Or maybe because the words penetrated deep down my very core... Listen, Yes, I have more than enough pleas in my heart. Though I always do things for other people, I've wanted things done for myself as well. I have plans but I cannot seem to turn them into a full-pledge act. Deep inside me, I know I wanted to do other things that would seem to make me happy, but I just can't expose that side of me... Oh, Is it? Is it the time for me to be heard? Sometimes (oh maybe all the time) I doubt if ever my voice will be heard. I've been living under the shadow of others who see me as a mere puppet, someone who'll follow orders (maybe with complaints sometimes) but still was expected to follow others' voice... Listen, Yes, I think I finally did something on my own, finally made my own decision. Still, there's no way I'm gonna gloat that my decision was perfect and completely free of consequences because it isn't. In the contrary, it seems to have made matters worst. It has complications, I know that. But still, it felt great to achieve something on my own, to have someone as my own. I am definitely more than what they believed I'm made of. I am a woman, I can prove that I reflect the very essense of being a woman. I am on my way to being complete, I don't regret this... You should have listened I've died so many times. Over and over, I was crashed, battered and broken to bits and pieces. But guess what, I kept on coming back, only to die again. Well, I'm laying my last card. They should see it and listen to me vie on its importance.. They may not want me, I may not belong to them anymore, they may abandon me and cast me aside, but they'll see, they'll definitely see the fruits of their unforgiving and cruel hearts. They will see how I'll be moving on after they turn their backs on me just when I needed them most, just when I'm being scorned by other people, just when I'm in my most vulnerable state. Yes, they will see. I've started this, I'll definitely complete what I started... They should have listened. They wanted to see me crawl and beg, they might just get more than what they ask for. The next call may come a hospital's morgue and they will realize it's too late to listen now...
Listening to: Listen by Beyonce Feeling: cold |
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September 19th, 2008
Family POSTED AT 09:00 AM in My Life and what's left of it... Father And Mother I Love You... oh well, I read about that in mylot yesterday. A friend started a discussion about family members and being polite to each other. She actually received this forwarded email and pasted the story in mylot to start a discussion and of course to share this piece of advice to family members. The story was about a mother who was so polite to other people and was the exact opposite to her son at home. The reality of the story struck a sensitive nerve in me. Some parents can be just too good and polite to other people and then can be harsh and rude to their own kids. I like this particular line: while dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse. Some people may not be aware of their tretment to their family. Some are just complacent that these are family members anyway and they will stick no matter what, so an ounce of daily harshness is just fine. But well, these people must realize that if they die the next day, the company where they used to work for can easily replace them in a matter of days. Other people may express their sorrow but it will be forgotten the next day. But the family that they left behind will always feel this void, this loss, for the rest of their lives. Maybe that's the moral lesson of that story. Anyways, I just can't get myself too acquainted with the FAMILY acronym that came with the story. Not that I don't like parents to be loved, they deserve to be loved, but well, a family isn't made up of parents alone, so where in that acronym should children fit in? I'm pretty sure they deserved to be loved as well... Feeling: cold |
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September 19th, 2008
A thousand good deeds... POSTED AT 10:35 AM in My Life and what's left of it... I always hear of the cliche Good deeds are never forgotten, and I'm certain I had full faith in that quote since it seems true and more, it seems to feel good. You know, it inspires you to do good knowing that your good deeds are never forgotten. But why is it somewhat easier to remember the mistakes over the good deeds? Why do others just make a fuss over a single mistake when a person has done so many good things in the past? When I do good, they must as well be blind, when I do bad, they can see everything... Well, I'm pretty sure my "father" was talking about this biblical passage when he told me I've never done a single good deed and have never been a pride to the family: But when good people start sinning and doing disgusting things, will they live? No! All their good deeds will be forgotten, and they will be put to death because of their sins. Ezekiel 18:24 My "father" has given me his judgment. I am to die because he has forgotten all my good deeds when I committed a single sin. My question is, when did he become GOD? When did he got this right to judge and punish? Maybe he got it overnight and I wasn't there when it happened... God is justice, he is never unfair. I didn't think His words above are unfair. It's just right to turn away from someone who did evil. I am glad however that God has never closed His door to those who are willing to come back to Him. If good people start doing evil, they must be put to death, because they have sinned. And if wicked people start doing right, they will save themselves from punishment. They will think about what they've done and stop sinning, and so they won't be put to death. But you still say that I am unfair. You are the ones who have done wrong and are unfair! Ezekiel 18:25-29 See? I know I still have the chance. I may have done something wicked but I am willing to go back to my good old self again to win back God's favor. I am not sure however if people who play "god" can give me the same chance that the one true God is willing to give His children. I know I'm back to my bitter mode again. But this time, not a single tear will be shed. I cannot let myself plunge into the dark pit of unanswered questions. I simply just have to let everything pass me as if they don't exist. This very minute, this painful thought is haunting me again but this will all come to pass. I'll have my second chance...
Listening to: Piano In The Dark by Jinky Vidal (of Freestyle) Feeling: alone |
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September 19th, 2008
Better Days... POSTED AT 02:31 PM in My Life and what's left of it..., That's what you call Music Dianne Reeves is one of America’s most revered contemporary jazz singers. Standing on the shoulders of her forbearers, Reeves’ name has been added to the ranks of Dinah Washington, Ella Fitzgerald, and Sarah Vaughn, her vocal inspiration and personal favorite.
I remembered dressing up after hearing the song then found myself in the internet cafe' to search for the lyrics and some 'facts" about the song and the artist. I found out that "Better Days" came out on 1988 and spent a whooping twelve weeks on Billboard Magazine’s R&B charts. I wasn't surprised. The lyrics are moving and the song is just full of emotions, it deserves the recognition. The lyrics is actually a vivid recount of Dianne's experiences -- memories she shared with her
grandmother. The song is the proof of the fact that their relationship became Dianne's source of inner
strength. Dianne's grandmother already passed away when she wrote the lyrics, it was her tribute to a very special woman. "Better Days" have reached out a lot of people on a strongly personal level. Well, the song can also remind others of other special relatives (or non-relatives) in their lives, not just grandma... There are just so many people in this world who can touch our lives one way or the other. I certainly am grateful for artists like Dianne Reeves who create beatiful and meanignful songs such as this. You never fail to touch our hearts... This song has been an inspiration to me. It gives me hope, makes me see that patience can take me to places. It allows me to look forward to a better day... Silver gray hair neatly combed in place I'd say how can I be sure what is right or wrong She saw the smile as she tucked me in Slowly she rocked, lookin' half asleep She said all the things you ask you will know someday She said, child we are all moons in the dark of night You can't get to no better days Later that year at the turn of spring And although I'm all grown up, I still get confused You can't get to no better days Listening to: Better Days by Dianne Reeves Feeling: looking forward |
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September 23rd, 2008
Joseph's Heart POSTED AT 09:41 AM in My Life and what's left of it...
However, after attending the worship service last Sunday, I've come to understand a very important virtue in Joseph that others didn't seem to notice about him in the past. I've come to realize that Joseph's got a very lenient heart. Yes, Joseph was a very forgiving person. Come to think of it, his brothers almost killed him, when they didn't succeed in killing him, they sold him to Ishmaelites traders who sold him to Egyptians as a slave. He was then proclaimed dead to his father who loved him very much. He was even imprisoned in Egypt for a crime he didn't commit. With all the sins and shortcomings people have done to him, it was expected that his heart will be hardened and vengeful. But when he gained honor in the sight of Egypt's most powerful man, when he became the land's second-in-command, when he became powerful and able enough to crush everybody who've done him harm in the past, not even a single thought of revenge came in his mind. Even with the opportunity presented to him by fate to finally justify his old sufferings when his brothers came to him and asked for his help to survive, he didnt do them harm though he can easily do so. Joseph's heart... I wish I can emulate that. He wasn't bitter that his very own blood has done evil against him. He didn't play "god" and didn't count others' shortcomings. He trusted God's plans, God's ways and didn't take matters on his own hands. I hope other people can be as forgiving as Joseph... I hope I can be... Feeling: calm |
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Joseph has been known as The Dreamer, Jacob's Beloved Son, and even Pharaoh's Second Hand. Those who know him, even kids who've heard stories of him, always remember Joseph as someone who can interpret dreams, someone whom God chose to save people from seven years of famine.September 23rd, 2008
My Sanctuary POSTED AT 11:24 AM in My Life and what's left of it..., My Little Nicholas ... and maybe it will be Little Nicholas' as well. That's IF I can't find a more suitable place for him soon (hey, he deserves it!)
This has been my little sanctuary for months. This is where I spent hours of writing and reading, hours of thinking and reminiscing, hours of worrying and crying, hours about getting mad and upset about life in general, hours of staring at the ceiling, doing nothing, feeling nothing. This has been my hiding place, where no one can see me nor hear me do stupid things. This room has been my witness to days and nights spent planning about the future, contemplating about the present... even crying over the past... Now this little haven will become little Nicholas' world. It pains me, breaks my heart everytime I think that this is what I can offer him, the only thing I can offer him. It seem so unfair for him to dwell in such a depressing place. I hope I have another choice though... Feeling: calm |
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September 24th, 2008
One Woman's Worth POSTED AT 01:32 PM in My Life and what's left of it..., That's what you call Music I was sitting on the couch (yup, in th office, taking a rest, I'm having difficulty breathing all of the sudden) contemplating about the things I should do about my non-existent lovelife (nope, I'm not thinking of plunging into another relationship right now, I just have these thoughts every now and then) when the stereo decided to lighten up my mood a little by playing "Halaga". Parokya ni Edgar is one of my all-time favorite local bands because their songs are really intellectual, sensible and even sarcastic to the point of being funny. But it was when I heard the song "Halaga" that I've come to really love the band. "Halaga" is all about a woman's worth. The song never fails to touch me with its lyrics everytime I listen to it. The guy singing (any guy who can relate to the song) is but an ideal guy. Why? He knows that this woman is worthy of loving and caring. It breaks the guy's heart to see the woman crying all the time just because her man doesn't appreciate her worth. This guy cannot understand how can a man not see that this woman is suffering and that he's hurting her. What irks him the more is that this man is throwing away the woman of his dreams! A man's garbage, another man's treasure? I have been several men's garbage before. Nobody seems to see my worth or maybe I'm worth nothing... I felt like a rubbish, nobody wanted me. Maybe this men wanted something from me but they never ever wanted all of me. After getting what they wanted, they all considered me a trash. And I was thinking I had so much to offer... sad that they didn't want it, didn't need it, didn't see its worth, didn't see my worth, if I have one... I was hoping I could someday find a guy who'll see my worth. Maybe I need a miracle... Listening to: Halaga by Parokya Ni Edgar Feeling: melancholy |
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September 25th, 2008
Where People Get Their Happiness From POSTED AT 09:55 AM in My Life and what's left of it... Some get it from the people they LOVE; you know, all those sugary stuff about being happy just to be with someone special, spending quality time with family, carry out some favorite activities with friends and chums... Most find happiness in serving GOD, in doing things that are pleasing in His eyes. They find themselves the happiest when they are participating in church activities or just sitting right there on the pews worshipping Him, singing praises to Him, offering prayers to Him. Others find happiness in doing things ALONE; knowing that they may not thrive in social functions, but they do know what makes themselves happy. Like they could do their hobbies, they watch movies alone, write some stuff (blog perhaps), read maybe, and even sit there at the corner of the bed and imagine beautiful things, reminisce about people, places and events. Now, there are some who derive their happiness from seeing other people get HURT. Yes. These people seem to find it a pleasure to prove to others that they know better and that others have problems they don't. These people clap their hands everytime they heard (or read somewhere) that a seemingly good person has now become a wash-out and has been ridiculed by the society because of the changes in his/her life. These people dance with glee and say "Aha! Gotcha!" and then think of ways to pin other people down or make other people swim in the mud. These people find themselves jubilant to see others bleed to death and even inflict more pain to satify their brutality. These are rude people, who cannot stop themselves from demeaning and insulting other people's lives and experiences as if they were there with them, as if they know how it is to be hurt and trampled on the ground. Yes, I'm talking about all these anonymous guests in my blog. Yes, MY BLOG, NOT YOURS. I temporarily closed my comment box until I'm able to get hold of my disappointment. I'm really upset. Other people may find my posts funny and even ridiculous to the point that they think I deserved to be ridiculed because of it. THIS IS MY BLOG. You may be welcome to read and even leave your comments, but YOU ARE NOT WELCOME TO INSULT ME. I don't tolerate anybody leaving me nasty and inappropriate remarks on MY BLOG. If you wanna tell the word about what you feel or think about my life, GO START YOUR OWN BLOG. I don't talk about your life in my blog, I don't say nasty things about you and I don't care whatsoever about your pathetic lives. If you wanna make it a hobby to jump from one blog to another and leave mean and malicous comments, count my blog out. I may have problems in my life but those are MY PROBLEMS and NOT YOURS. So whatever your problems are that you seem happy in demeaning me, THOSE ARE YOUR PROBLEMS, you can rot in hell, I don't care. Yes, I'm sending this back to you: CHECK YOURSELF FIRST...
Listening to: Ordinary People by Freestyle Feeling: infuriated |
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September 29th, 2008
Team Building @ Mapawa POSTED AT 05:13 PM in My Life and what's left of it...
Then came darkness, the best time for the approximately 15 ft. bonfire (yeah, it was HUGE). I love the crackling of the logs and the fire that represents the company's glowing and heated commitment to make not only its client happy but also its human resources. We had "Testimonies" during the bonfire (after we had our yummy dinner in front of the fire) until 9:00 o'clock in the evening. The day was exhausting but it was full of wonderful moments with wonderful people in Sticky Media. Now that's what you call TEAM BUILDING! See all photos in my Flickr, Just click HERE! Feeling: cheerful |
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Last Saturday, the 27th of September 2008 was the scheduled Team Building of all the departments of Sticky Media (uhmm, minus the Date Department). We spent about 9 hours together including the travel to and from the venue, the Mapawa Nature Park. The goal of such event is to bond not only with the members of the department that each of us belongs to, but also with all other employees across other departments. The company executives endeavor to build the camaraderie and the social harmony not only within the four corners of Sticky Media but also in a calming and soothing and relaxing environment.
We had so much fun. It was really relaxing and exhilarating. I've been laughing my butt from start to end. I really enjoy the company of my Sticky colleagues, especially my team/department - ADVIBE (considered to be the BEST department in the company, hehehe. Hey! We're the cream of the crop!). I was tired and was out of breath just after an hour of staying in that camp, not because I participated in a strenous activity but because my teammates are just so funny. I have been laughing the whole time we practiced our team cheer before we present it to everybody. We are the Green Team and the cheer was just a riot because it's actually made of green stuff. LOL!
I even enjoyed the games even if I wasn't allowed to participate because of my condition. I liked the game "A Walk to Remember" because it's really worth remembering. The game "Let's Walk Together" was also great, it really brings out the cooperation and strategy of each member of the team. It was fun. But it was on the third game, the "Five Point Star" that the team was able to set a humbling experience. Why not? The best team ended up as the loser! Hahaha! I was laughing at my seat the whole time, watching my teammates struggling to solve the puzzle and create the star. I'm sure they have all the idea and everybody wants to put his or her ideas into practices that's why we came out last in that game. Oh well, that's just one game anyway, and it's really fun!
Then the rain pour and we stopped the games then. We used the time in "Ice Breakers" and "Sharing" with teammates. Our Department Manager also gave us the updates about the department. My colleagues took a dip on the pool after the rain. I actually brought my bathing suit with me but I changed my mind in swimming in that pool. It just rained and I'm afraid the water will give me gas problems again. So i just watched them enjoy the water. Sigh!
September 30th, 2008
Hellboy and his version of "Can't Smile Without You" POSTED AT 09:32 AM in Big screen ravings
You know I can't smile without you Hellboy's very own rendition of the popular Barry Manilow's Can't Smile Without You really put a smile on my face (I guess I even laughed, though not too loud for others to hear) while watching this movie in the theater.
Guillermo Del Toro's HELLBOY
II: THE GOLDEN ARMY which starred Ron Perlman in the title role with hotbabe Selma Blair as his leading lady maintained its original and somewhat outrageous portrayal of an outlandish and stylistic society. It actually combines the romantic stuff with awesome live-action, along with the unforgettable only-Hellboy-can-say cracks and monster
storytelling. The movie is packed with scrappy creatures from unimaginable sources yet maintains its singularity and stand-alone feature so as to express the literary garishness of perusing a comic book. Creatures are somewhat gross (yikes!) but humanity and heart is still emphasized, along with dark poetry, and slapstick comedy. Some of the immature (yeah, Hellboy is sooooooo childish!) bickering scenes even reminded me of my favorite Tom & Jerry Kids show. Yep, that's why I loved it! Hehehe! The red-skinned creature from hell (?) who loves kittens and oozing with red-hot temper happens to love watching TV (especially if he's in it) and drinking cans and cans of beer. I just loved it when he sang Can't Smile Without You with the cute and naive Abe Sapien (hey! he's really cute and innocent!). It was my favorite part of the movie LOL! Well, I like the showing of wit and eclecticism as well. It was even funny when Hellboy (trying to look morose) took that shower with that song about being a beautiful freak in the background, hehehe! On the downside, the costumes and the characters are indeed great but the storyline is not that creative, it's way too obvious and predictable to the point of being boring. It's good that the characters are not boring, or the film will not appeal to many. Ok, I may not have thoroughly enjoyed the movie as I did with "The Dark Knight" but the ticket was worth it. I give it a 7/10 rating! Listening to: Can't Smile Without You by Barry Manilow Feeling: cheerful |
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