On the Chinese Mummy...
POSTED AT 09:52 AM in Big screen ravings

So I watched The Mummy 3 last Saturday after all... I was planning not to because I was somewhat disappointed that one of my faves, Rachel Weisz isn't in the movie. Still, I love The Mummy 1 and 2, and Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh is there, so I said, why not? Saturdays are boring anyways...

The movie's ok because accept it or not, Jet Li is a big name in the movie industry. But I wasn't looking forward to an ok movie, I wanted a great movie, something that I can rave about like I did when I watched The Dark Knight. What I mean is that, you are not missing a great deal at all if you don't go and watch the movie in the big screen. The Dark Knight got a whooping 94% in RottenTomatoes while The Mummy got a very disappointing 9%! What a @$#@!$! It's not that the two movies are comparable but both are sequels and they definitely went different directions!

Shucks! Rachel could have saved the movie, but then again, it could also hurt her career. I read a news item about the reasons why she dropped out of the movie. Her press release talked so much of schedule conflicts and spending more quality time with her family. But then there are talks about Rachel not liking the script at all, that it is crappy and really ugly for her career. She just have to let it go. I heard someone screaming Traitor! But I don't think Rachel has betrayed anybody at all, at least she's being smart enough not to give her fans a movie with a crappy script. If producers want loyalty, they should have made good of the script. After watching the movie, I realized it's better that Rachel didn't star in this sequel. It could really ruin her good image after that award-winning acting in The Fountain (of course with my number 1 fave and oh-so delicious Hugh Jackman).

Enough about Rachel (for now). We might as well review some of the movies' bits and pieces, let's just hope I remember eveything, it's not the kind of movie that sticks in your mind you know. I promise I won't say that it's "unbearably empty and dumb" like one of the movie critics did.

(1) 27-year-old Luke Ford certainly looks every year of his age and thus, he's just too wrong for Alex O'Conell's role. Ok, Brendan Fraser is 39, and yet, he looks like he's in his late 20's. I just don't understand why Ford got the role. His accent isn't even British (well, he should be after growing up in London with a British Mom, right?) and he's trying to be charming but I can't see the charm at all! I mean, the Chinese girl, 19-year-old Isabella Leong can't be falling for him! No offense meant, but I don't like his acting as well, really bad, really sad.

(2) Maria Bello? Who is Maria Bello? Well, this is definitely not her first movie but she really acts like an amateur! They replaced Rachel with this blond? She isn't British, her voice isn't cute, she isn't sweet-looking and she isn't funny at all. Why her? I think I'm just too disappointed that Rachel's not in the movie but they should have at least looked for a better replacement!

(3) John Hannah and Imhotep's Bar. At least Evie's brother Jonathan is still played by John Hannah, he's just the right guy for the role, funny, witty and yet dumb sometimes, well, he's not a Scottish BAFTA Best Actor for nothing! And hey! I like his bar! Imhotep's Bar is sooo cool. Typical for Jonathan to do something like that eh? They also maintained the fact that Jonathan always ends up with some goodies in the final scenes, like the diamond "The Eye of the Emperor" in this sequel.

(4) I never think the all-scary abominable snowman looks that cute. I promise! They looked cute in this movie! They only look scary when they attack and give those grawls. But they really looked cuddly and cute in normal instances. Is that how they're supposed to look like? It's not that I mind, I was just curious, but I do think they're cute though when they cheered and gave each other high-fives!

(5) Jet Li doesn't look half as scary and indignant as Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo)! And yes, that isn't a mummy he's portraying! It's a Terra Cotta warrior dummy! They could have just casted anybody else with the "masked" Emperor running around in that costume. I'm a Jet Li fan but after his movie with Jacky Chan, I couldn't believe he'll let himself be casted in that awful character! I mean, it's fine that he's the antagonist for a change but the role is just degrading! He's supposed to be a powerful Emperor who can control 5 elements and he can only transform into a three-headed dragon who spits smoke and an unknown and terrible looking animal that runs and chases a plane? That's terrible! With his power, he can dispel the commoner's army led by General Ming in one tornado! Hmmm... poor script eh?

(6) You'll definitely know how to kill the Emperor in the first 20 minutes. Boring? Of course! That's so predictable! They however managed to put up an explosive 1 hour and 30 minutes towards the end before the killing of the Emperor can be done. And why did Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) rolled his eyes upon knowing that this magic knife can kill the "mummy"? He's been chasing mummies all his life and has been killing them with unimaginable weapons, why not believe a magic knife's power?

(7) Michelle Yeow is still gorgeous and sexy at 45. Yep, the Chinese Queen of Martial Arts is still sizzling hot in this movie. I just can't believe though that she isn't carrying the same bottle that contains the water which healed Rick O'Connell's wounds. She should have known she'll be wounded as she's bound to lose her immortality, she could use that water... ehem! poor script again?

Sigh, I feel so terrible writing all these terrrible words, i should stop now. I loved The Mummy, this is one of those genre that makes me tick. But after watching The Mummy 3, I can hear myself saying "Stick to suspense-thrillers ok?". Triple sigh!

Reading: Lovers by Judith Krantz
Listening to: Boys Don't Cry by Cure
Feeling: disappointed

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